Nelly

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Hello there! Me name is Nelly. Dad calls me “Nellface” “Nelly Moo” or “Nelly Moon” for some reason. I certainly don’t look like a moon or a cow, so I give you my best confused pointy face. I have a few snowflakes on me back which Dad loved when he first met me nearly 9 years ago. I have a sister called Daisy who is not very well right now, but I hope she gets better. Dad adopted us both at the same time, but originally it was going to be only me. Daisy just used her best sad pointy face on him, and he crumbled.

Do you work? If so where/what do you do?
WORK? Oh no no no! I do not do the “W” word. After I finished racing for punters, I opted for a life of luxury and loafing, and toys and treats. And cuddling.

What is your favourite type of music?
My favourite type of music is punk, particularly the minstrels known as Napalm Death. Them and the Nolans.

If you could choose your name what would it be?
If I could’ve chosen me own name I think I would’ve been a Betty or a Wilma.

What is your favourite food?
my favourite food is chicken, but I do love Meatiful chicken dinners. I do not eat from my bowl anymore, Dad must cut it into discs and feed it to me. I have him well trained now. I once had pork pie, but I was not supposed to eat it. Dad left it on his armchair, and I took the opportunity to sample it. All of it. I’d eat that every day if I could. Yes *licks lips*

Have you taught your humans any tricks?
The only tricks I have taught Dad is how to walk faster to keep up with me. I am still very sprightly. That and how to make more room for me on the bed/sofa. He knows his place.

What is your favourite way to entertain yourself (annoy your humans)?
My favourite way to entertain myself is to have an “on the back maddy”. I get on me back, wriggle around, bite me own bum, and grundle. Then I get up and fling Donny the Bear around. Expert.

What is your greatest accomplishment?
my greatest accomplishment is getting adopted. The folks at the RGT said it would take ages as I was quite aloof. Still I managed to charm Dad who fell for me after just one walk. That and the money I embezzled from the countryside alliance. No regrets.

What is your next goal in life?
my next goal in life is to win Rear of the Year. My bum is a boy magnet. Truth.

If you could be/do anything for a day, what would it be?
if I could be anything for a day it would be an ice cream taster. Imagine that! Scoffing creamy desserts all day! I could add at least a couple of pounds to me bum.

Finally and most importantly... What was your human’s most embarrassing moment?
my Dad’s most embarrassing moment is when he came downstairs, naked (after a bath), and slipped over in a puddle of wee I had put there for him. He just sat there looking sad, and then had to go and run himself another bath! BOL!