News from Doris - The Roving Reporter
- October 2023

Hi pals,
This month I thought, you know what, I'm old and I've never done it before, I'm going to steal a chew from the pet shop! Haha, yes indeedy. Without Elaine noticing I sidled up to the 'help yourself buffet' section of the shop, thanks to the joy of a long lead, and had a good browse. Before she knew it I'd selected the finest, and largest, fayre on offer and quickly nabbed the foot long specimen. Elaine only realised when the shop assistant began laughing and by then I'd got it firmly between my teeth.... no going back now I thought. I am a thirteen year old thief! 

So there I was with a so called 'large rabbit' chew in my mouth, vegetarian Elaine horrified, and now three members of staff laughing. Of course the chew was duly paid for but Elaine did question the price, £8.99!!, and the size of rabbit it may have come from. We suspect a cow sized one. Anyway I felt proper chuffed with my stolen goods and skipped home like a puppy. 

Of course, due to it's size, and my sensitive stomach I'm restricted to ten minutes with the chew before it's whisked off to a secret location. I'm allowed my spoils each morning and it's lasting well pals! I can't believe I've never done it before, it's made me think that I should set up a little bucket list of naughty dog things to do before I die.
Not that I plan to pals... I want many more trips to the pet shop!
Doz, arch villain and ye olde shoppe lifter.     

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