Health - Baths and Bathing
Being asked to do my very first official product review has lead to this month’s health section focusing on baths.
How often should we be bathed?
Well pals the fewer baths the better I say!
Some humans bath us regularly while others hold an annual event.
Whichever way your humans decide make sure if that if you are to be given frequent baths then they must use a gentle shampoo or it may damage your natural skin oils.
Some humans ask how do they bath us. Well pals here is a blow by blow account of how I get bathed.
This is probably why some humans prefer to send us to dog groomers BOL!
*Note: Human is feeling very energetic and eager to bath me*
I must add that there are no photographs during this whole saga as my human has not got enough arms or hands to work a camera at this time.
My human and I headed up the stairs to the bathroom. I then decided that 10 minutes of ‘catch me if you can’ was more appropriate.
My human cheated by bribing me with treats and lifting me up to carry me upstairs into the bathroom.
*Note: Human slightly out of breath*
What followed next can only be described as the most entertaining saga of trying to put a dog in an empty bath ever.
My human tried to put me in the bath with all four legs and paws stretched out to avoid the white chasm of doom.
As one leg is removed from the outside of the bath to be placed in, the other three jump out again.
At 21kg I am no lightweight to be lifting for any length of time.
My human had super strength on the day.
Eventually I am in the empty bath with my human holding onto me with a wrestling type grip.
*Note: Human definitely out of breath*
At this point my human realises that there is a big flaw in the operation.
Both bottles of shampoo are out of reach on the other side of the bathroom!
So we are stood in a sort of stand off. Me in the bath with my human grappling me to keep me there and my human staring at the distant bottles of shampoo as if they are going to levitate themselves towards us.
There is nothing else my human can do.
The grip is released to go and get the shampoo.
I make a bid for freedom and jump out of the bath.
Unfortunately my human had closed the door, so I never got very far.
My human moves the shampoo so it will be within reach and then decides to fill the sink with warm water.
Then remembers to move the jug within reach too.
*Note: Human slightly out of breath but still eager to bath me*
Round two of getting me into the empty bath starts.
As before I was not going to make it easy for them.
I must admit though, it did take less time as I am starting to get tired too.
*Note: Human starting to look like they need a lie down*
My human has to let go with one hand to reach the jug and fill it with water.
This is where they start using their body and neck to ‘hug’ me to keep me in the bath.
The first jug of water jolted me into crazy mode and I started jumping and struggling about.
After several jugs of water and me jumping about we are both soaked and I am apparently ready for the shampoo.
*Note: human is over this whole bath idea but is past the point of no return*
My human is now staring at the two bottles of shampoo.
They wait until this moment to decide which one to use? Really?
During their distraction I make another bid for freedom but only half escape.
I am now perched over my human’s shoulder dripping loads of water down their back and soaking the only dry spot left on them.
Another wrestling match ensues and I am back in the bath.
*Note: human now sounds like a marathon runner after a marathon*
They grab the nearest bottle and spend a few minutes wrestling the lid off as their hands are soaking.
They put a thin line of shampoo along my spine and start rubbing it over me.
Then the strangest thing happens !!
I feel really relaxed and stop trying to escape the bath and allow my human to shampoo me.
They were taking no chances and still had me in a form of wrestling grip, but I did not struggle.
I enjoyed the shampoo. It had a nice smell and felt good.
<span ">My human was able to shampoo me all over and started to relax too. *Note: Human soaked, tired but starting to relax*
Now for the final rinse off.
The first jug of water jolted me back into crazy mode and again I started trying to escape the bath.
With water flying everywhere and jugs of water being hurriedly poured over me, I was eventually rinsed off.
My human, who no longer had the strength or energy to hold me, let me go.
I shot out of the bath and shook all of the water off me.
I believe there was not a single inch of dry area left in the bathroom. *Note: Human remembers why they don’t bath me often*
My human opened the bathroom door for me to go downstairs while they cleared up the chaos and devastation that used to be the bathroom.
I celebrated my new found freedom while my human was busy by having a detour onto the not allowed bed and having a quick roll around to help dry myself off.
Then I raced down the stairs to recover from the whole event.
My human eventually came down stairs after cleaning the bathroom and getting changed.
They brought loads of wet towels and their wet clothes to put in the laundry.
My human looks extremely tired now but I am now refreshed and ready for some play time.
*Note: Human collapses on the sofa in a heap muttering ’never again’!*
This picture is of me after my bath.
Still very wet but smelling a lot better...well that is what my human said BOL!
Official product review