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Fred

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
I am 42 kilos of rippling muscle wrapped up in a red fawn fur greyhound suit.
I did three races but on the last one I collided with another dog and got injured.
This is when I decided to quit the racing lark and rescue my humans at the end of 2017.
They needed quite a bit of training but have come along nicely and now know basic commands like “tummy scritch”, “walk time”, “get off my bed” and “I am starving to death”.

My hobbies are digging up the front garden, producing amazing smells and lying in inconvenient places.

How many siblings do you have and long have you had them?
I have one fur sister Posy who came to us nearly two years ago, and a teen, tween and two mini hoos who were part of the rescue package.

Do you work? If so where/what do you do?
Ssh, I am a professional robber!
I am known for my exploits across several continents.
My specialty is the snatch and run.
THEY NEVER FOUND THAT ROAST CHICKEN.

If you could choose your name what would it be?
Probably something well hard and tough sounding like Mr Snuffles.

What is your favourite food?
Ooh that’s a tricky one because there are so many!
Pizza is amazing, sossidges obviously, roast chicken, chicken nuggets, fried rice also anything stolen tastes better.

Where is your favourite place to be?
In the tween hoo’s bed, while she sleeps on the floor.

What is your favourite way to entertain yourself (annoy your humans)?
I most enjoy licking my privates noisily and at length while others are trying to sleep.
I sometimes follow this with a good 3am whinge in the hall outside everyone’s bedrooms.

What is your greatest accomplishment?
The time I stole the roast beef right from the kitchen table.

What is your next goal in life?
Steal an entire roast turkey.
Mum says I just have to believe in myself and I can do anything!

If you could be/do anything for a day, what would it be?
I would be mum and I would buy 14 roast chickens from the shops and feed them to me!

Finally and most importantly...What was your human’s most embarrassing moment?
Probably when I slipped my leash and went on a wild rampage through the school on the mini hoos’ first day back from summer holidays.
I tore through the playground at 70kph with 5 year olds scattering out of my way and the older kids screaming “it’s Fred!”
I led them on a wild chase through the school grounds before finally coming to rest in the 7 yr old’s classroom, much to everyone’s delight.
Mum says she will never live it down.

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