A Greyt Christmas Tail and
A Greyt Pirate Tail
Tell me a bit about yourself:
Muvver has a big shiny award thingy she calls Emmy from when she worked in TV.
Wees have trouble working pens so get her to write as she’s good at that hooman stuff. She’s practically ancient especially in dog years, Blue says she would be dead in dog years but wees don’t tell her that. I am 5 (Ramsey) and am a vewy ‘andsome boy. I’s a lurcher which means I bounces around and eats everything but I luffs cuddles, fuss and tennis balls too. When I was just a pup I was throwed away and founded by some luffly peoples at Foal Farm Animal Rescue. They founded me in the rain on the streets I was just a little boy and very cold and scareded. Then I wents to a foster home before muvver and farver showed up and kidnapped me and now I luffs them. My sister Blue is the most bluetiful girl in the whole wide world. She’s 7 which makes me her toy boy but she luffs me. She’s an ex afflete and used to run very fast but now she doesn’t have to run anymore, except when she wants to or when I chases her to steal her toys. Now she mainly sleeps, plays bitey face and goes on adventures wiv me.
Wee has another sister called Sally but she’s the scary hairy one and is too old to go on adventures wiv us. Wees lets her be in the illustrations though as we luffs her too even when she finks wee is annoying.
What was the inspiration for you to write the books?
Muvver says wee is very inspirational and always getting up to something.
A Greyt Christmas Tail was inspired by me being a very strong boy and dragging muvver along on walksies. Wee was all dressed up like elvses in our new coats and going for a walk when muvver said if I kept pulling that Santa would come and get me. I didn’t know who Santa was but then he crashed in our garden and I met him and he is luffly. He has lots of treats in his pockets and helped us run so fast that we fly.
For A Greyt Pirate Tail I didn’t like how the nasty loud fireworks scareded my Blue girl so we went on an adventure to make her her feel better and tell off those nasty people who made the bangs and scareded her. Muvver says that if lots of children falls in luff with us through our books then it will mean that other greyhounds and lurchers like us get treated more kindly in the future. We went back to Foal Farm to donate a big cheque from our first book. This is going to help them build nice shiny new kennel blocks so they have lots of room for more dogs like me. We also sent a big cheque to help Birmingham Greyhound Protection find homes for more greyhounds like Blue.
What is A Greyt Christmas Tail about?
A Greyt Christmas Tail is set on Christmas Eve. When Santa’s sleigh crashes in their back garden, rescue dogs Ramsey and Blue jump into action.
Volunteering to pull the sleigh, they help Santa meet his deadline and deliver presents around the world – all before their hoomans wake up.
Where can it be purchased?
It is available on Amazon and in all good book stores. Waterstones, Barnes and Noble etc.
Also via muvver’s website www.miriampayne.co.uk
(all copies sold through there are personalised and signed).
Proceeds from A Greyt Christmas Tail go to Foal Farm Animal Rescue and Birmingham Greyhound Protection so wees can help other dogs who need homes like we did.
What is your A Greyt Pirate Tail about?
This swashbuckling story of mischief and danger was inspired by Blue’s fear of fireworks.
Ramsey comes up with a plan to get back at the pirates who dared to scare his girl. Join them on this rollicking adventure as they teach some salty seadogs a lesson of friendship, teamwork and bravery. I hates fireworks but not as much as my Bluety does.
She gets very scareded and runs around the house so I has to be a big boy and make her feel better.
Wees usually finds a soft corner to cuddle in and muvver ties a scarfy thing around her. I try to give her my braveness so she isn’t scareded anymore and that’s what this adventure is about.
It’s so exciting and everyone luffs it so far... “This is the most delightful book anyone of any age will read all year. A ‘tail’ of derring do, with exquisite and hilarious illustrations – PAWSOME!” - Pauline McLynn, actress and author I hope that you will all luff it too!
When will it be available and where from?
It’s being published on 27th March by Filament Publishing. Will be available on Amazon and in book stores e.g. Waterstones, Barnes and Noble etc.
Pre-orders are open at www.miriampayne.co.uk and as before, all copies purchased through this website are personalised and signed.
Do you have any funny or embarrassing stories about writing your books - especially if it involves your human?
Muvver is always embarrassing!! She makes us dress up in costumes and takes lots of photos of us. Blue is a dogel so always looks bluetiful but I is shy and doesn’t like it.
Elvses was ok but now she wants us to wear pirate hats...I draw the line at eye patches!
When she was writing our second hadventures, wees was just trying to sleep in the sun. She was drinking wine and asking us about pirates and trees and stuff and keeping us awake.
But then wees got to go for long walks around the field and ponds while she talked to herself and then the book was written.
When farver got home she read it to him and he laughed, called us big sillies and gave us treatsels so wees were happy and excited for our next book.
When muvver was writing A Greyt Christmas Tail she had a very stupid idea....she decided to paw print us!
Of course I had to go first as I is the bravest so she got my foot and made it all purple wiv inky stuff then put it on paper but it didn’t make a nice big print like she wanted as I spread all my toes out in protest. It gets worse.
The inky stuff didn’t come off! Farver washed my foot so much but it was still purple so then I had to wear a sock as muvver didn’t want purple pawses on the carpet.
The next day wees were told to get as muddy as wee could on our walk and then walk all over paper on the floor to get prints.
That was much better and now our pawprints run through all our books.
Our favourite thing to do is go to schools and see all the children who luffs our books.
We were guests of honour at a Christmas tree lighting with Santa, which I thought was the perfect time to show off how good I was at singing.
I joined in with all the carols and the brass band and everybody laughed. Farver thought it was sooo funny and snuck me treatsels when muvver wasn’t looking, she doesn’t think I is a good singer 
